Ndlesspayn

I know, the weight to bear is horrible waiting for beta... Thats why ive started this thread to lighten teh mood.
Heres how it works.
Ill post a joke.... Then someone else posts a joke. Then another joke.
And GOOD JOKES! This is for real guys!

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"And with a swift wave of his hand, came a horrible era of chaos and fire.."

Ndlesspayn

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

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"And with a swift wave of his hand, came a horrible era of chaos and fire.."

Ndlesspayn

Thats wierd--- Where did the replys go??

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"And with a swift wave of his hand, came a horrible era of chaos and fire.."

Ndlesspayn

the posts in the thread keep getting deleted O_O

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"And with a swift wave of his hand, came a horrible era of chaos and fire.."

LordOfWar

Lol Ndlesspayn, I have heard a variation of that one before...

-This man walks into a bar and says, "ow"

-A woman is driving to work and she sees this blond girl crying on her front steps, so she goes and asks her whats wrong, and she replies, "My mom just died". The woman helps the blond inside and makes her a cup of coffee and leaves for work. The next day she is driving bye and the blond is crying on her front porch again, so she asks her what was wrong this time and the blond replies, "I just got off the phone with my sister, her mom died too"

-Ok this one is a true story.
My cousins in New York got a dog, and the mom was playing with the dog (a little bishan-poo), throwing the toy bone from her bed, out the door, and the dog would fetch it and bring it back. So the daughter was walking bye just out of sight when the mom threw the bone, so the daughter picked up the bone and threw it back at the mom, and the bone landed right on the mom's lap. The daughter hides behind the door to listen for the reaction. The mom says, " good girl throw the bone, good girl" and then about 10 second later comes a stiff silence, then the mom exclaims, "Jenny!!!!", and starts running down the stairs, while Jenny sits behind the door laughing hysterically.

lol my aunt isn't stupid....but she does alot of stupid stuff.

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kipperlips1

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run - she is still holding the grenade!

A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!

Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

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Impact

lol thats good lol

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Machina

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.